Would you rather…..

A very quick post from me tonight whilst my blogger’s block is still at bay.

Today at work a group of my colleagues and I mused over the following hard hitting issues affecting everyday life in society today….

Would you rather….

Be attacked by a dwarf wielding a big sword or a giant wielding a toothpick?

Have a quaver for a nose or wotsits for fingers?

Be a monkey with the brain of a human or a human with the brain of a monkey?

Pee yourself in public or poo yourself in public?

(There seems to be a split according to gender on the last one, with one of my male colleagues saying “I’d poo myself, contain it in my pants, drop it off at the toilet and be back on the dancefloor throwing some shapes while you were still drying your trousers”)

The usual productive day…

Everyone has a story to tell

Everyone has a story to tell. Telling it doesn’t start with the ability to, it starts with the willingness to. Every story needs a beginning, and every story begins the same way. With the desire to tell it.

That desire may be to entertain, to share, to educate, maybe to enlighten….. Sometimes just to make sense of it. To rationalise it. Understand it. See it. Feel it. Hear it.

That’s my desire.

For my story to exist somewhere other than just inside me. Somewhere where I can see it, rather than clumsily fumbling in the dark in my mind trying to identify the shapes of it.

Can you fill an empty page with a thousand words and still have an empty page?

Yes, I believe you can. If those words don’t come from the right place, I do believe you can.

Fill an empty page with a thousand words charged with emotion, and fuelled by desire, and you’ve got yourself a story. That makes every single word of your story important, and that’s the way it should be.

What happens to you in your life doesn’t define who you are, what you do about it does. That’s what makes each story different, unique, but still comparable in importance.

This brings me to a story I read yesterday. I was already familiar with this story.  I know the detail, I know the facts, I know a lot, but definitely not all the emotions of this story.

I know the people in this story because they are included in mine. Without this story, parts of mine wouldn’t exist.

Although I know this story, reading it still moved me, and humbled me. I’d never seen it written before. In full chronology. From the beginning. I felt the emotion and the honesty of every word, and I appreciate how difficult a story it must be to tell.

So, here is that story. Please click on it and read it.

http://www.birthtraumaptsd.com/experiences/placenta-accreta-and-haemorage/

Everyone has a story to tell.  Some just haven’t found the willingness or the voice to tell it yet. Lets hope some day that happens.

I like. I don’t. I am. Me. Who?

I like the morning. I dislike the afternoon.  I like to wake up early in the mornings, even on weekends.

I like sleeping with the curtains open so I can see outside when I wake up. I like the first full body stretch of the day. I dislike lights on in the house in the daytime. I like the moon and a clear night sky.

I like afternoon naps. I like being so tired that I can’t keep my eyes open. As long as it’s at a time when sleep is appropriate. And not dangerous.

I like running in the rain. I like pushing myself further each time. I like the dull ache of my muscles in the days after exercise. I like showers. Not baths.

I like it when my cats purr, and the little “brrrrt” noise they make when I’ve disturbed them from their sleep.

I like whisky. Neat. Always neat. Single Malt. I like red wine over white. I like it when I go to the bar of a pub and my drink is poured without the need to ask for it. That’s familiarity.

I like it when friends know how I take my coffee without needing to ask me. That’s also familiarity. I know that I make this awkward for my friends because I alternate between black coffee, and white coffee. Sometimes with sugar, sometimes without.

I like black tea, but I’ll only ever drink tea with milk in if I’m ill. Then I like sweet weak tea. Not milky. Weak. There’s a difference.

I like it when friends text me for no other reason than just to say hello, or how are you?. I like that they’re thinking of me when they don’t have to. I dislike it when I don’t get replies to texts I’ve sent. Especially if I’ve asked a question. Although I know I’m guilty of that myself.

I like a plan as long as it’s not a definite plan.  I like last-minute decisions. Usually made by someone else. I don’t make bad decisions, but I’m not good at making any decisions. I can’t make lists, but I admire people who can. I can be on time when I need to be, but more often than not, I’m late. Sometimes through choice. Maybe always through choice.

I like that I still have strong friendships from school in my adult life. I now understand the depth of childhood friendships. I know I didn’t appreciate that when they were formed all those years ago.

I like mashed parsnip. Ridiculous considering I loathe potatoes cooked that way. I detest them so much, that I can’t bring myself to write the words together. I like that people who know this about me avoid saying it. The thought of it repulses me. Maybe it’s a phobia. Either way it’s weird.

One of my favourite childhood books is ‘The Clown of God’. Truly amazing book, but clowns now unnerve me. The film ‘IT’ is to blame for that. Or rather Pennywise is to blame for that. Ultimately Stephen King is to blame for that.

I like black & white films. Especially ‘Goodbye Mr Chips’. I dislike horror films. I still re-read all my Roald Dahl books. I like reading books I read as a child. I like reading new books.

I like the smell of petrol but I dislike putting petrol in my car. I like the smell of a pipe and the noise of a drink being poured. I like the noise of gravel crunching. I dislike whistling and the noise of metal scraping against metal. I like open fires especially when they crack and pop.

I like playing with the magnetic poetry words my friends have on their fridge in their house. I like that those friends feel like my family.

I like Thursday night tea with my parents, and Sunday dinners at their house when everyone is there. Especially in the summer. I like playing in the garden afterwards with my niece and nephew. I like watching them grow up. I dislike the speed at which that is happening.

I like coincidences. I like serendipity. I like things I can’t explain. I dislike not being able to explain them. If only to myself. I like instinct. Gut instinct. I’m learning to trust mine more.

I like it when I solve a problem I had, or someone else’s for them. I like learning something new. I like trying something new. I like creating. I like creating memories and then cherishing them.

I like history. I like looking at really old photos of my family despite not knowing who most of them are. I like hearing stories about them. I like trying to imagine the world they lived in, and what they’d think of mine.

I like that I can usually acknowledge my faults. But I dislike them. All of them. I dislike that I don’t always see my strengths. I like the fact that those close to me can see them when I can’t.

Charles Haanel – The Master Key System – Stage 2

I know in an earlier post I said that I was embarking upon a 24 week goal surrounding the 24 chapters of Charles Haanel – The Master Key System, but I fear it’s going to take me longer..

It’s not that I haven’t tried, I’ve just been busy….. That may seem like an excuse to some, and… well, yeah it is a little bit. Why put myself under needless pressure though? I’ll get through the book, it will just take me longer than 24 weeks, that’s all.

Chapter 1 – I’ve nailed that. I’ve read, re-read, re-read again, looked up words I didn’t know the meaning of, and followed the exercises. Sit still for 15 – 30 mins a day… The early stages of meditation.

I can do that. I’ve always been able to do that. I’ve always been able to daydream and I’ve always been able to sit still… I do it frequently in work.. (don’t tell anyone that though)..Now I’m just applying it slightly differently.

Chapter 1 – Passed.

Now on to chapter 2.

I’m in the early stages of chapter 2, but something is starting to click… Actually more than click… Beat… Something is starting to beat.

I’m changing a little bit. I’m growing a little bit. Part of my conscious mind is throwing good, wonderful, provoking  mud at my subconscious mind and it’s starting to stick.

I’m going to be good at this…. I am good at this.

Stop Thinking!!!!

OK.

I’m in the first chapter of The Master System. A chapter devoted to thoughts, improvements through the quality of your thoughts. Understanding the natural power of your thoughts…and I failed.

Two days in to a 24 week goal and I failed.

Details aren’t important now, but suffice to say by 6pm yesterday, I was frustrated, irate, irked, vexed, and you can probably drop a little anger into the mix too..

So.. What to do? Think positively?.. I tried.. I really tried. I couldn’t.

My frustration grew. I knew this was no good. It wasn’t constructive but I just couldn’t stop thinking about it. Then came guilt over failing to stop thinking about it. Then came more frustration from feeling guilty. Then more guilt…Classic pink elephant syndrome.. Don’t think about a pink elephant….Ah bugger…

My thoughts were raging. My thoughts were feral, they hissed and spat at me every time I approached them in an attempt to tame them.

I couldn’t control them… But I was aware of them. My guilt was over my inability to stop them, but then I remembered my awareness of them. I was beating myself up over nothing..Awareness of them is having some control over them… So I made a decision….

I allowed them in…. I welcomed them, I shook hands with them and told them I was pleased to have them and to make themselves comfortable…. I lulled them into a false sense of security. I told them they could stay as long as they wanted…I joked with them, I played games with them, then I told them to go wait in the car and I’d be there in a minute… All of a sudden I fancied a night in…

I can still hear them beeping from time to time, but I can’t quite make out what they are saying.. I’m sure they’ll get the message soon though.

Regardless of the fact it was now 2am and I’d tossed and turned and found the cold side of the pillow 7 times, it had worked.

I hadn’t failed after all… It was a triumph. I was a triumph. I’d just flicked through the brochure of my mind and stopped at the pages I wanted. I’d just controlled my mind! I’m a mind controlling genius… A little optimistic there maybe…. but, I’m going to be good at this…

I’m going to be great…

Some life thoughts and observations

I’m sure I will add to the list as time goes by, but I’ve spent the last 10 minutes jotting down some observations and thoughts….

They are… (In no particular order)…

  • In school, teachers who didn’t want to be bothered always put their tie over their shoulder to make it look like they were in a hurry
  • Everyone will Google their name at some point in their life…. and probably be disappointed with the results
  • Sentences that start with “I’m not being funny.. but”, always end in an insult
  • Tea & toast always taste better when someone else has made it
  • Sometimes, for a split second, you can’t remember if dinosaurs were real or not
  • Every person in the world has fallen up the stairs at least once
  • “I’m fine” is code for “I’m furious with you”
  • Everyone has a pair of old trainers for gardening, and an old t-shirt for painting… and never wears either for each job
  • “It’s fine” is code for “It’s not, and I’ll be bringing it back up at a later date”
  • You’ve subconsciously judged every photo on Facebook of everyone with the same name as you
  • Nobody believes the message on Sky that your remote batteries must be replaced within 10 minutes
  • The three most important words to a child are…. “I’ll time you”

Feel free to add your own……