You and who’s army?… Passion and his army actually

The alarm was snoozed, it was too cold to get up yet, and I was too tired. This morning, I lay in bed for far longer than I should have, thinking about what actually drives me to get out of bed in the morning. What do I really feel passionate about…. and what does passion do to a person?

Imagine if there was no passion in the world? The world would keep on spinning, but the greatest films would not have been made. The greatest songs would not have been sung. The greatest books would not have been written, and your greatest love of all time would not exist.

I don’t think passion alone will get you what you want or where you want. What will, is all the other emotions that passion stirs awake.. Emotions that join forces. Pledge allegiance to each other.  Promise to watch each other’s back. Allied bound to each other.

Together, they’re the offering hand that you grab to pick you up, or steady your fall. They’re the forceful hands you feel pushing against your back when you’re half way up the hill and too tired to walk any further. They’re the reassuring hand that holds yours when you’re scared.

But, sitting in the darkness, in the stillness of nothing, in the dead of night….critical, negative thoughts start to seep out of the corners of your brain. Whisper from the shadows, and escape into your conscious thought.

If you’ve already awoken the beast of passion inside of you, it’ll be that beast you call to your rescue.

Your brain sends out an SOS.

Passion hears.. He calls a trusted friend, Mr Power.

“Will? Are you there? Gather up the troops, we’ve got a situation…”

You can feel the vibration within you, the resounding beat as they all gather up their energy, synchronise,  and come galloping to the rescue.

Valiant Passion leads the pack. Behind him, his gallant, loyal army.

Mr Will Power, has mustered up the best soldiers you could hope for. Courage, Determination, Conviction, Confidence, Resolve, Nerve, Belief,  and finally Faith. Faith who insists on leaping everywhere and insists you try the same.

They come thundering in to slay the dragons of insecurity. Make no mistake, they’ll always win. Understand, that if you back them, they’ll always emerge the victors.

After the fight, you’ll still hear the chants and war cry’s of Passion’s army echo and reverberate inside of you. Listen to them, feel them pulsate, find their beat.

Then, and only then…is when you can pull the thorn of fear from your side, lift it triumphantly above your head, before throwing it to the lions of success to devour.

That….. is what passion can do for you…. If you let it.

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Optimist or Pessimist?

Optimist!…. No… Pessimist!… No… Indecisive to both?

I don’t hi-five and whoop my way through the day, but I don’t clunk my way through, shackled to the woes of despair either.

This topic caught my interest on the daily post today. It’s relevant to me. I would say that at the moment I’m generally an optimist. Because I’m choosing to be. It’s not always very easy, but it’s always possible.

Optimism hasn’t got to where he is today without the help of some of his friends though. Optimism would be nothing without his best drinking buddies by his side, Faith & Belief. They are the ones who keep buying you a full pint at the bar. They don’t want you to ponder over ‘half full or half empty’. They want you to have a full pint.

Determination, focus, nerve, courage, hope and confidence aren’t innocent in this either. In fact, they’re all in it together. A posse. A force to be reckoned with.

The brothers Pessimist and Doubt are usually kicking about in the same pub, along with their motley crew.It’s a free world, they’re allowed to. They’re always willing to buy you a pint too, but they expect to drink half of it first before giving it to you.

Sometimes you’ll let them, because it’s easier than challenging them.

Sometimes it’s OK to do that. Optimism won’t be offended, he knows in the long run, he can offer you more, because deep down you do too. He just hopes you realise it.

I started the year with three very clear personal goals in mind. I’m optimistic that I’ll achieve all three. They won’t fall in my lap. I know that I’ve got a lot of hard work in front of me if I want to achieve them…. And I’m prepared to do it.

  • The wheels are in motion for goal number one
  • The wheels are just being screwed on for goal number two
  • The wheel has not been invented yet for goal number three

I’m not worried though, they’ll all happen, because I’ve got Faith and Belief buying me pints. Full ones.

I won’t set the whole world on fire with them, that’s not my intention. But in the small patch of it that I can call my own, I’ve got the matches…

If the wind changes, you’ll have an apple tree growing in your stomach

I’ve already mentioned in an earlier post that I believed there was a lucky boy in Swansea who collected footballs when I was younger, so it got me thinking about other things I believed as a child.

I’ve split it into two sections. Lies I was told as a child that I believed, and explanations I conjured up in my own mind and thought them to be true.

Lies I was told that I believed. Why wouldn’t I?

“If the wind changes, you’ll stay like that”.  Believed it.

“If you eat apple pips, an apple tree will start to grow in your stomach. Believed it.

“Thunder is just God playing the drums”. Believed it.

“If you stand on your head all the blood in your body will fill your brain”. Believed it.

“I’ve got your nose”. Believed it. In fact, some uncle of mine who wasn’t really an uncle, just someone I called uncle has still got my nose.

“I’ve just heard on the news that all the strawberry opal fruits have got poison in them for girls so you’d better give me yours”. My brother told me that one. Believed it.

There are a lot more I’m sure, but I want to move on to ideas and logical explanations I had for things in my childhood mind.

A mind when it was easier to think, yet harder to understand.

A mind before Scepticism set up camp there, met Cynicism, married her, then she moved in too, giving birth to Doubt, Suspicion and Knowledge not long after.

Everything I believed made sense at the time, and seemed the only reasonable, plausible explanation.

Where babies come from

When I overheard conversations like “So and so has had their baby, is was 6 pound 4″…. I used to think that Mammys and Daddys had gone up to Heaven at night to choose their baby and had paid £6.04 for it. I thought Heaven was littered with babies with price tags on them, and you just went up, chose which one you wanted, paid for it and came back down. A simple purchase from God. Once you’d paid for it, it was yours to keep. Forever. I also thought that Heaven looked like my attic because whenever I heard anyone talk about it, they always pointed upwards and gave the impression it was really high up. I knew the sky was high up, but I was more savvy than to think you get babies from the sky! The next highest thing I knew was my attic, so I just presumed that Heaven was everyone’s attic.

Waving or flashing your lights at drivers to say thank you.

Whenever we went on a car journey, I was always amazed at how my Dad always seemed to know where we were going. At the time, my world consisted of my house, in my street. I didn’t know how to get anywhere other than to the top of my road. I used to get quite scared that someday when I grew up, I’d be expected to know how to get to places. What if I got lost?… But then I used to think it’s OK because I’ll know plenty of people everywhere I go, just like my Dad does.

The etiquette of driving is if someone lets you out, or you give way to someone, you or they give a little wave, or a little flash of the lights to say thank you. Just a little grateful acknowledgement. Now, as an adult, this really annoys me when people don’t! As a child when this used to happen, I thought that my Dad had seen someone he knew, because you only wave to people you know. You’re not supposed to speak to strangers, so therefore you’re not supposed to wave to strangers either, or flash your lights at them. You only wave to people you know. I was amazed that my Dad knew so many people wherever we went.

 

Clouds

I  believed that planes could land on clouds, and that’s where people went on holidays. That’s why they always came back with a tan, because they’d been closer to the sun.

The nit nurse

When the nit nurse used to come to school, pull your ribbons and hair slides out and run her horrible aged hands through your hair until she’d made you cry and you couldn’t get a comb through it, I used to think she was evil. Now as an adult, I understand. The nit nurse was indeed evil. But I also believed if a child had eggs in their hair it meant that in a few days they’d hatch. Once they’d hatched they’d have birds nesting and flying around their hair. I thought that would be brilliant.

I’m sure there are a lot more, and I’m hoping this post instigates some childhood memories for those who read it. What crazy things were you told as a child, and what did your wonderfully imaginative, innocent, naive childhood mind believe?

Grandmothers will always do the best they can for their grandchildren….

OK,

This is my first post and I think I should start by admitting a secret that only two people know. Myself, and my Grandmother.

My secret?…. When I’m out of the house everyday I ask my Grandmother to look after my cats for me. That’s it. That’s the secret.

My grandmother doesn’t live with me, or nearby, I never see her, but I know she’s been. Everyday.

My grandmother died 5 years ago. But I know she’s been. Everyday.

Whilst its liberating to say that out loud, it now forms part of the external me. The part that others can critique, judge and form an opinion on.

It no longer just exists inside me. The part that only I can critique, judge and form an opinion on.

This bizarre daily statement started 18 months ago when I came home and found my little kitten out on the main road, covered in oil from being stuck under next door’s van. I hadn’t planned to go home as I was due somewhere else. I was indicating to go right, but for some reason I turned left for home first.

As I stood at my front door, I heard a pitiful mieow.  On further inspection I found a pair of scared, inky black eyes staring at me from under the van. I called her, she came and I picked her up. She was trembling, dirty and disorientated. I was now trembling, dirty myself from holding her, and confused….

I didn’t understand how she got there, but I did now understand what made me go home first.

15 minutes later the owner of the van jumped in it and drove away. If I hadn’t gone home at that time, then……….. who knows….

Since that day, every morning when I leave the house, I tell my cats that Nanna will look after them today.

I believe it.

With unfaltering faith I believe it.

I have nothing scientific to back this up. Just a spiritual belief, gut instinct, and faith. Faith, the most important of all. Pure faith that it is so.

I’m not naive or stupid enough to think that it provides  immortality for them, but it gives me peace of mind. Peace of mind that even from beyond the grave, Grandmothers will always do the best they can for their grandchildren.

Thank you Nanna…. God bless you xx